If this whole newspaper thing goes south...

...you might consider designing in an industry that never seems to be losing "readers." This tip on SugarBank for amateur pornographers hoping to make it as a professional:

"Packaging design is key to your success. People won’t think to watch your DVD/clip if the packaging doesn’t draw them in. Conversely you can sell almost anything if the box it comes in is nice enough. Spend time and money on making your website/blog/box look good. Don’t be forced to tell people '…it’s a lot better than it looks.' "

Judging from this mock-up example of a poster that sells, a little typographic ability and you can be a "porn star" designer.

Item spotted on Defamer, "From the Makers of Shanghai Poon"